


these scars are who I am

by blankcamellia



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Agent AU, Filth tbh, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, a shameless outlet for my needs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-11-01 22:47:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20533226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankcamellia/pseuds/blankcamellia
Summary: Agent AU: Taiga trying to keep his feelings in check after an almost failed mission, while Hokuto shamlessly walks out of the shower with only a towel.





	these scars are who I am

**Author's Note:**

> It all started with a dream, and I had to write it down somehow, and yeah. I haven't written porn in like ages now, but I have needs and I gotta satisfy them myself X'D

_ Fuck,building. My, fuck… this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. _ I looked around in panic and tried to map out the escape routes in the whirling dust. The bomb had suddenly gone off, destroying half of the building and in the middle of the chaos it ensued, I lost track of my partner. I was fairly sure none of the enemies were still nearby but I didn’t want to take any chances. Close combat wasn’t really my forte. The explosion had busted my wireless communicator, and I cursed as I felt my upper arm sting.  _ That’s probably gonna scar. _

I crawled my way over the rubble, making sure I was staying hidden from any possible snipers nearby. A cracking sound nearby made me jump as a wall caved in. As soon as I got out of the rubble, I hurried over to the meeting point, praying he’d be there, panic soaring through me at the thought he wouldn’t. He was tough, our best agent, he would be there. He wouldn’t go down this easily, but I still worried. Imagining the faint, rare smile gone, and the blasting laugh silent. No, I refused to accept it. He had to be there. I shook my head and headed out of the building.

My ears were still ringing when I reached the meeting point but there was no trace of him there. I almost went into another panic state when I felt two arms around me. 

”Captain!” I yelped as I smelled the faint smell of musk through the layers of dirt, dynamite powder and sweat. I turned my head up and was met with his usual smirk, hair falling all over his face. There was some blood trickling down his left side of his face and I turned around and reached up to wipe it away, worry spreading over my face. 

”It’s just a scratch,” He said but he didn’t bat my hand away. I frowned as I wiped my thumb over his eyebrow. 

”Still,” I let out in with a breath. The relief that he was here and alive washed over me and I almost forgot our mission. 

”Come on, we can’t stay here much longer, let’s get back to the hotel.” He gently took my hand in his, gave it a soft squeeze as we hurried off to our hotel. On the way there, we discarded our battered clothes, trying to make ourselves less suspicious. To the outer eye, we just looked like a pair of guys on holiday, and something had gone wrong, you know, random fights. My arm still bleeding and Hokuto’s face wasn’t really in the best shape. It had been hard washing the blood and dirt off in a public fountain but it had to do. 

  
  


”Man, I am beat,” Hokuto sighed as he threw himself on the bed, and I only scowled at him. 

”Go take a proper shower, you’re gonna stain the sheets,” I rummaged around in my bag after my first-aid kit to tend to my wound, and I could hear his muffled groan behind me. 

”Will you join me?”

I whipped around and flung the bottle of disinfectant at him, hitting his shoulder perfectly as he sat up and grinned at me. 

“Matsumura Hokuto, shower. Now.” I growled and he only laughed at me before making his way to the bathroom. 

He was a fucking hopeless flirt and it didn’t help at all. Not at all. My face flushed as I heard the shower running and his low, humming voice filling the room, only muffled by the walls separating us. I winced as I cleaned the wound, thinking how the pain from the wound was nothing compared to how my feelings raced whenever I was around Hokuto.

At first, it had been rough. Everyone in our squad had looked down on me when I joined. I had been transferred from the sniper division in Kyoto to my current ground division, and while our squad was balanced in both gender and abilities, everyone had basically shunned me out. What was a poor sniper gonna do in a ground division? What could a sniper even do in close combat? Did he get here through connections or donations? Thankfully, I had held my head high and had not let their leering get to me but man, I had been furious. Hokuto, as the squad leader, hadn’t really done his job and prevented the others from getting at me, but he hadn’t done anything himself (which, in hindsight is just as bad), until one day. 

He walked up to me during our lunch break, looking at me while I downed my second bottle of water.

“What can I do for you captain?” I asked as I wiped off the excess water from my mouth. 

“Spar with me,” He licked his lips and nodded his head toward the dirt field outside our tent. “It’s an order.” 

I blinked at him but rose from my seat, earning a handful of eyes on me from our squadmates. We took our stances and soon our whole squad was out of the tent to watch us spar.

It took about five seconds before any of us moved at all and Hokuto was the first one to move. He aimed a high kick at me, followed by a well-aimed punch to my open side of my face as I dodged his kick. I quickly stopped the punch by spinning around, grabbing his leg in the motion. To an untrained person, it would have brought them off balance but Hokuto only grinned as he kicked backward and slipped out of my grasp. 

“Don’t fuck with me,” I spit out. If he wanted to spar, he better go all out. He seemed to know exactly what I meant before rushing towards me again. 

We exchanged blows and kicks equally, and even if I still believed he went easy on me, our onlookers seemed to believe the opposite. I blew my hair out of my face when we distanced from each other for a short moment. He wiped off a trail of blood from his lip, smiling as if it meant anything more than just me landing a good blow on his face. I glared at him before we both dived in again. 

It took maybe a second of miscalculation, I don’t know if it was my fault or his, but we both slipped at the same time, and I could swear I saw something fleeting in his eyes as we grabbed onto each other. The wet dirt seeped through our clothes when we landed and I took the chance to pin him down by the throat. 

I was panting when I stared into his eyes beneath me. His body had fallen slack and he was grinning once again at me before he whispered.

“See, it’s not that hard to make me fall.”

I scowled at him before I roughly pushed myself off him. I didn’t pay any attention to any of the others when I walked over to my seat to grab my bag. Hokuto’s laugh echoed throughout the whole site and he was still lying in the dirt when I walked off-site. 

The next day, he announced me as his partner during our mission assignment and nobody said a word. I didn’t complain. A mission was a mission. I ended up being his partner for the rest of our coming missions. 

I sighed as I remembered how it all began. Slowly but surely, Hokuto had begun to crawl under my skin, subtle gestures and words. Things I didn't think he'd say or do but did anyway. At first, I had thought he had been serious but after the overhearing how he seemed to flirt around between missions, I threw that idea out of the window. There was no time for fooling around. It didn’t help my feelings from growing, and each and every time we were off between mission hours, relaxing the few minutes we could, he did something and my heart was skyrocketing again. 

It was hard denying it. The way he smiled when he found something funny, genuinely smiling so bright like a child, how he actually cared but didn’t show it directly, and how he was very vocal when he disapproved of something. What attracted me the most was how he let me be me. How he always seemed to be there when I fell.

”Where did you put my suitcase?” 

I snapped out of my trance and turned my head around, only to watch Hokuto stand behind me with only a towel around his waist. Inside, I was freaking out, because all I wanted was to push him up against the wall and kiss him senseless. Feel his skin hot against mine and let him have his way with me as he so detailed explained during a mission before - all for the pretense of being a couple. I kept my face blank however and gave him a judging look. 

”Keep track of your own stuff Matsumura,” I huffed and nodded towards the window. ”It’s below the window.”

The bandage rolled out of my hand as I accidentally knocked it off the table in front of me, I clicked my tongue before reaching after it. Before I could pick it up, Hokuto had reached down for it. 

”You still suck at wrapping bandages,” He snorted and grabbed my arm to inspect it. ”This is gonna scar…”

”I know,” I replied with a sigh. ”Doesn’t matter really.”

He turned me around on the chair, thankfully donning a pair of shorts now, as he carefully started to wrap the bandage around my wounded arm. 

”Such a shame on your beautiful skin,” His fingers lingered on my skin, leaving burning trails after each touch. I almost jerked away, desiring more of his touch than I could get. He took a hold of my arm, holding it still as if he knew I’d react.

”It doesn’t matter because nobody looks at it anyway,” My reply was maybe a bit too harsh, but it was true. Nobody looked twice at me. Especially not after joining the military. 

”I look at it,” I whipped my head up and looked Hokuto straight in the eyes. I don’t have time for jokes. Especially not from him. Not this kind. The way he spoke was so soft and caring, almost as if —

“Cut it out,” The chair squeaked as I stood up and tried to walk past him to the bathroom, but his grip on my arm only increased, tugging me back, making me sit down again. He trapped me against the table with his other arm, almost straddling me in the motion and I couldn’t breathe.

“Do you hate me?” 

I wasn't sure if I was more surprised at the question or the fact he was so close. 

“No? I don’t!” I yelped, trying to sit as still as I could. The smallest motion would make me rub against him and I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back. 

His hair was still dripping wet from the shower, skin shining and damp, all I wanted was to lean in and lick at those running droplets of water and taste the naked skin. 

“Then why do you avoid me like the plague when we’re alone and not on duty?” His gaze burned into mine and I realized it was a lost cause to try to hide anything anymore. 

“Why? You ask? Why?” I hissed and gritted my teeth. “Let me tell you why alright.” 

I pushed at him with my good arm, startling him, and making him fall backwards on the bed. A soft sound escaped his lips as he hit the mattress but I ignored it as I followed after and straddled him before putting my hand on his chest, keeping him down. It wasn’t the first time we were in this kind of position but it was the first time it could mean something. I dragged my nails over his naked chest as I spoke.

”Every time I see you, I want to throw you against the nearest wall, or ground, whatever fucking works and ravish you until you wouldn’t even remember your own name. Your every move and every word set me on fire. They make me desire something out of reach. Every joke you say, every empty promise, they make me helplessly drown in wishful thinking that it could ever be something.” 

”You’re so fucking stupid,” Hokuto hissed, taking me by surprise as he reached up and pulled me down by the neck, latching onto my lips. Automatically, I tried to resist, but he held me steady and I was gone the moment he bit my lip and slipped inside my mouth. 

He took my head in his hands, tangling himself in my blond locks, as he explored my mouth. I let out a muffled whine as he tried to press himself closer to me. The way he let his tongue do wonders inside made me lightheaded and distracted. I started to move with him, putting pressure into the kiss as well and from the way he tightened his grip on me, I knew I did good. His damp skin seeped through my tank top as I pressed myself against him. We separated messily and gasped after air. He wasted no time, latching on to my neck, licking and biting down. I ground down on him, letting him know how much he'd affected me, and earning a hiss against my skin, feeling how he reacted to me. A wave of personal satisfaction ran through me as I could feel him hardening against me, breath elevating like we just had gone all out in a sparring match. My heart was beating hard against my ribcage and I was sure he could feel it. 

He sucked hard on my collarbone and I couldn’t help but shiver, sensations overflowing, arousal growing. It’d probably leave a mark but I didn’t care. 

His hands traveled along my back, slipping under my tank top and his touches burned. I could feel him trace over each and every scar and mark I’ve gotten. All the things that people had said made me less beautiful. Each touch ignited the memories from when I got the mark. I knew he was proud of me. That I made it out alive. That I am still here, carved by the scars. He tugged the tank top off me, leaving me only in my shorts, exposing my scarred torso. There was a pause in his movements and I almost thought he’d back out before he kissed the scar below my left collarbone. So tender and so sweet. I reached up and ran my hand through his hair, moving it out of his face to see him better. He rested his head against my chest as he looked up at me, hands staying at the small of my back. 

”May I?”

The way he asked me was like no other. So caring and gentle, the opposite of his outer image. I breathed out a yes, probably sounding more desperate than intended. It wouldn’t be the first time we saw each other naked. In a business like ours, privacy was the last thing on your mind. He leaned down, dragging his lips over my skin as his fingers found their way to my nipples. I let out a low moan at the contact and accidentally gripped his hair. He jerked against me unexpectedly, letting me know how the small tug affected him as well. 

Hokuto’s hands soon slipped down my sides and my back, over my still clothed bottom, slowly riding his hands up beneath my shorts. I hummed approvingly as he hastily fumbled to get me out of my shorts. I slipped my hand inside his pants, wrapping my hand around his erection as he tugged my shorts and underwear off in one go, exposing my own erection. He growled as I moved, letting him move to claim his mouth instead. I hungrily devoured his mouth as I stroke him slowly, most likely painfully slowly as he jerked with every stroke, trying to get me to speed up. With my other hand, I tugged his bottom wear off with ease, leaving him totally at my mercy. 

As I ground down on him, letting go of his cock, I felt how hard he was and soaked with precum. I moaned shamelessly as I felt him slide against my own hardness, feeling so damn good. Apparently, I was teasing him too much. He soon grabbed my arm, swiftly turning us around, pushing me into the mattress, face first. Wasting no time, he climbed above me, covering his broad torso over mine. His hand crept over my thigh until it reached its destination. I could feel how two of his long fingers traced the rim of my hole before I felt something cold drip onto my skin.

He had picked up a bottle of lube from one of our bags with his other hand without me even noticing, and slowly eased one finger inside. I gripped the sheets tightly, holding onto them as if they were my lifeline. It had been so long since anyone had touched me like this, and Hokuto seemed to feel that too. He took his time, making sure I didn't hurt before he easily slipped another finger inside me and I gasped out loud because finally. Two fingers soon became three and I was sure I was maybe even begging at some point because he was way too delicate with me. It might have been a while, but I wouldn't break. I could hear how hard it was for him to hold back too, breath so loud.

As an answer, he had leaned down and given me the biggest mark ever on my neckline. It had felt so fucking good. The way his fingers worked inside me was incredible - reaching deep with no effort at all, then suddenly curling and nudging places no one else had ever reached before. I could hear myself panting, squirming with arousal.  _ More.  _

Now and then I could feel his erection against my leg as it rested there, wet and waiting. I hissed his name, wanting to get him to hurry up. He obliged and slipped his fingers out, wet sounds filling the room and I felt so fucking empty without his fingers inside me. He seemed to hesitate at first, one second too long for me. I understood he was contemplating if he should use a condom or not but heck, I didn’t fucking care. I wanted him inside me now. 

“Get on with it Matsumura Hokuto,” I growled at him and he snapped out of his decision making. I’d deal with the consequences later if there were any.

The moment he pushed in left me breathless. I could feel him filling me and it was the most amazing thing ever. Never before had I felt something as complete as this. His cock throbbed as he bottomed out, a low growl leaving his throat and I let out a loud sigh. It felt so good. I rolled my hips upwards, urging him on to start moving, so impatient as my cock twitched. He grabbed my hips to hold me steady as he pounded in, finally moving inside me. I could feel how the head graced the walls inside me, stimulating the nerves, followed by the thick length, veins making it feel even bigger. He had been leaking even before he entered me. The slick sounds made me even more aroused and every thrust sent me flying. Explosions of pleasure bursting inside me. Only feeling how fucking good it felt when he rammed in deep and desperate, my whole body on fire. I cursed under my breath because damn, it felt even more incredible than any of my wet dreams ever were. His grip on me was bruising, focusing only on thrusting inside with such force I felt like breaking apart. This was what I wanted — someone who could take what he wanted and not mind me. I could take it. I wasn’t a vulnerable doll. 

Thrust after thrust made me high on pleasure and I knew my release was close, not even touching myself. I had been ready to come from his fingers only when he prepared me. My hands clung onto him, nails scratching his skin red and sore but it was nothing compared to his other scars on his body. His name fell off my lips with a pathetic whine before I gasped, my mind going blank as I came all over my stomach. Clenching around him as he just kept thrusting, searching for his own release. I yelped as he moved, grabbing my leg to hoist it up on his shoulder. He hit even deeper in this position, making me see white.

“Order me.”

His voice low and desperate above me and I knew exactly what he wanted. He snapped his hips extra hard before I managed to get the words out. 

“Come for me.”

I only got to hear him draw a breath before he thrust hard and deep in, stilling before coming inside me. The feeling of him twitching making my mind spin. Each pulse of his cock sent spurts of his release into me, and I felt every movement of it and even when his juices started to get too much inside me, trickling down the inside of my thighs, I could only feel the satisfaction. The more it oozed out of me, with him still buried deep, the more I felt complete. He still filled me so well and I couldn’t help but moan at the last twitch his cock did, feeling so over the moon.

I felt how he brushed my hair out of my face before he slipped out of me, leaving me strangely empty inside despite his load of semen filling me. A disappointment whine left my lips as the head of his cock left me, come dripping off it still, both onto the mattress and onto me as he leaned down to kiss me sweetly. It was messy and dirty how I shamelessly let his come just drip onto me and out of me, but I felt such satisfaction. It left me feeling used. In any other situation, nobody would have wanted it. All my limbs sore, both from his rough handling and from our earlier job. I knew from the burning feeling on my skin that his grip and kisses had left bruises and marks everywhere but it didn’t matter. To me, it was a sign of success. A proof of strength. 

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous,” Hokuto’s voice was breathy and filled with such emotion and adoration I couldn’t help but blush as he leaned back to look at me. Because nobody had ever said that to me after sex.  _ Nobody. _

“Shut up,” I bit back, embarrassed, looking away.

“You shut up, you are, extremely so..” His voice trailed off before I felt his hand grabbing my chin to make me look at him. I met his eyes and drowned in his dark brown orbs. They were filled with everything I wanted from him. “They don’t know what they have lost. You have a body to match a god, it’s created by your hard work and goals. Your scars are proof of your strength, not your weaknesses. It takes a lot to take you down but it also means it takes a lot to satisfy you too. I’ve been watching you for so long.. you’re mine now.”

His possessiveness flared up a new fire in me, making me whimper when he breathed those words against my throat. 

“Every mark I gave you today is proof of it. I want everyone to know who you’re with.”

I whimpered as he bit down, surely marking me again and all I knew was that I wanted him to ravish me. Wreck me. I wanted to surrender myself to him completely. Give up everything I’ve been taught. 

”Nobody wants me anyway, I’m all yours,” I breathed between his bites, making him lean back and look at me intensely. 

”Do you have any idea what they say about you at the camp?” He growled, eyes going dark at the thoughts. ”You don’t know how dirty they talk about you behind your back. I’ve heard every single thing, all their fantasies and I’ve been there every time to threaten them. There is a reason why you’re stuck with me.”

“I guess your possessiveness worked out in the end,” I chuckled and brushes his bangs out of his face. “You know I wouldn’t take any shit from anyone.” 

“I know, and that’s why I love you.”

His words hit me like a lightning bolt, even if I suspected them before we put our hands on each other. Hearing them out loud was another thing after all. I held back a gasp and just smiled, words rolling off my tongue easier than I thought.

“I love you too, but shower. I'm sweaty and dirty again, and we need to change the sheets too and finish wrapping my arm. It looks like we did something else in the bed than having sex, considering the number of bloodstains.”

Hokuto just laughed above me and brushed his nose against mine. His whole body vibrated with his laughter and I knew I could get used to this. Despite our job always telling us to never get attached. It only meant we had to do even more than our everything to stay alive. 

  
  
  



End file.
